NOTE: 9th August 2021. Calm acquiescence. Really? As I sit here in a car too hot for dogs, radio on, belly full of fluttering butterflies. I watched an old documentary about Eric Berne this morning. 1960s looked modern. Shock to see people smoking. Once so normal... And People expected answers, psychotherapy//Enlightenment! But mostly... I'm terrified why? Undertow Kit gives me back everything I give him He doesn't reply to my emails anymore.. What has happened? I feel his warmth, but I'm what? Stupid I guess. Getting to the point where I tell the truth. Just say it I'm in love with you ... And you must know this, feel it, see it? This session is almost too painful to recall and write. There was so much 'us' in it. It didn’t feel as if there was an agenda. We talked as if we are friends and equals. But returning to this session and thinking about it - I feel my heart break - because what if this sense of equality was nothing but a result of his technique,
Eros in therapy.