21st February 2024.
Finally!
As close as we can get to resolution - and instead of a 'dual relationship' that was conscious, careful, considerate and worked out we have a 'non-dual' relationship that is supposed to hide any inconsistencies or problems under the screen of client confidentiality. And we have a non-dual non-relationship that is 'fraught with ethical problems' so, go figure.
Clearly he doesn't see any ethical problems relating to his response!
In the light of this, my criteria now for defining ethical behaviour and therefore what an ethical therapist would do in this situation comes down simply to this; an ethical therapist shows courage enough to state his or her feelings with honesty - and compassion.
I'm relatively happy with his statement, I have never shown any interest in you.
But a part of me is asking, is that statement 'for the camera'?
His attitude towards me at the beginning of 'therapy' was not clear - there were three occasions at least when it was possible to interpret his behaviour, as interested. But the fact remains that if he had said that he didn't have any interest in me when I'd asked, instead of acting with incredulity that I could ever think such a thing of him, and on a second occasion when I sought clarity, his embarrassment - indeed blushing - we could have got somewhere better, sooner!
So forgive me for wondering, is this outraged 'how could you ever think such a thing of me' - a fine example of what Herr. Freud called a reaction formation?
Fortunately this is his problem not mine. I simply have but one decision to make. To shut down all communication - as asked - and then to open the black box up for everyone, or do I not do this?
When a client has an issue with the therapist that needs to be resolved, the first rule is to make contact the therapist.
And if the therapist closes all communication down, fulminates and splutters? The next step is a complaint to the professional governing body. The question I ask is this, what is more important? Receiving an apology from him saying that he understands that he handled this very badly. Or, do I make our interaction freeware - in the hope that it might help you to see your way through a similar dilemma, if such befalls you!
I had said:
Option 4 - if resolution fails then I rescind my promise that all information relating to our interactions is closed. The anonymized information stream will be archived as freeware.
Kit has been given an opportunity to seek resolution.
Resolution failed:
Therefore the outcome of this email dialogue between us is that all posts are scheduled to publish each Monday, and anyone who reads is at liberty to draw their own conclusions.
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