Cassandra or Apollo syndrome?
Quote taken from this source. [+]
All we know for sure from the various writers of the past, such as Homer, Aeschylus, Virgil and Euripides, is that Cassandra will never be believed.
But why Cassandra came to suffer so, the writers of this sad story do not agree.
Simply put, Cassandra was cancelled by the God Apollo.
Nietzsche in The Birth of Tragedy (1872) contrasts Apollo as a God of light and knowledge - calm and reason, with Dionysus as a God of ecstatic emotions.
But the story of Cassandra and Apollo does not support this simple division.
This story was written in a time when Greek society valued hypermasculinity. A time when sexual expression was defined by status, not gender, not love. A free male Greek citizen was at the top of society and women only one notch above slaves. Apollo was of course above the free male citizen and at liberty therefore to do whatever with whoever or what. He was beautiful, radiant, gorgeous - but unable to entice, or forgive. He may be seen as a god of rational thought until we imagine him responding with spite and poisonous emotions to rejection from a woman he believed should be overjoyed to be so favoured by him.
One thing Apollo is not, is a god of wisdom; Nietzsche it seems, preferred to ignore Apollo's older roots for the sake of his book.
What then is the more Greek view of Apollo?
Homer in the Iliad clearly defines Apollo as a plague God, a god of sudden death. And in the Homeric Hymns, Apollo is linked to the Underworld, to rot and decay. It is this aspect that supports how he was able to bestow the gift of prophesy to Cassandra, as prophesy was regarded as knowledge that could only be gained from the Underworld. Justice too belongs to the Underworld, and it could be said that Cassandra broke her word - in some telling's of the tale - so Apollo's choice was both a withdrawal of his gift (justice) and a curse...(punishment).
So where does all this fit in, in the therapy room?
Anyone who is suffering gaslighting knows exactly how Cassandra felt. And I wish to take apart the cruel notion that people do what they do because denial protects them from the pain of real life.
I quote:
It has been my observation over the past thirty years of practicing medicine that the Cassandra syndrome or complex exists in all of us; no one wants to believe the truth. We all have the tendency to deny it or substitute some other irrational understanding of our reality which is far less harmful to our own worldviews, but none-the-less dangerous to our health. Many have denied their intuition so they operate blindly and they have denied rational discrimination so long that they float almost unconsciously through every conflict, staying remote from the pain and suffering associated with a real authentic life. We all know these people who live in the land of delusion.
Cassandra sits down as the therapist puts the 'do not disturb' sign on the door and gently closes it. As Cassandra talks of what has happened and what will happen to herself, to others, things stop making sense to the therapist. She tells of how she had to travel back to this man's home - he is still living with his wife! Cassandra tells of how this man, Agamemnon was complicit in the murder of his wife's daughter, Iphigenia. His wife suspects this, Cassandra says that the wife will kill him, and then she will kill her.
This is serious.
Though the therapist can't understand or believe what she is hearing - why has Cassandra consented to go back to his home?! she puts her disbelief to one side and says, "when we first began our sessions I said that in some circumstances I might need to break confidentiality..."
The therapist is sure that Cassandra needs to separate from a man who is clearly a bully, possibly he is the real danger; after all, Cassandra has said she believes that he is lying to his wife, and Cassandra describes him as a murderer!
The therapist is suddenly very aware that she will need to contact her supervisor, and the police!
Cassandra says that Agamemnon will kill her unless she obeys him, and says that any safeguarding measures can't help and that she can't leave him. Nothing can prevent what she knows will happen!
The therapist isn't sure what to do, and for a fleeting moment she feels completely powerless.
She will make comprehensive notes...
Definitely take this to supervision...
But for now, right now? Obviously Cassandra is doing her best to float above the trauma of war, her city is in ruins. Her family were all killed. It is no wonder that she is still dissociating from the pain and suffering, and perhaps refusing for very real reasons, authentic contact with human life.
She seems to be experiencing flashbacks and there is an almost tangible sense of impending threat and doom about her.
It isn't easy being in the same room.
For a moment the therapist asks herself, is anything Cassandra says actually true? Why isn't she taking concrete steps, to move away from this horrible situation?
Certain now that Cassandra is upsetting herself by continually elaborating more and more catastrophic negative thoughts, the therapist makes a choice to explore and focus on the relational wounds of Cassandra's past, offering unconditional positive regard.
The therapist feels that seeking out how Cassandra's inner child needs support and compassion. And providing a nurturing, safe environment will allow healing. Rationalising that if she can create and provide a reparative relationship for Cassandra, this will help the attachment wounds and trauma to resolve and Cassandra will start to value herself more and become more understandable, more able to articulate and embrace the pain of what has happened and if necessary, she will be willing to take action.
But what does Cassandra actually want and need?
We have not listened or heard how she is coping, how she is getting through all this, or what is sustaining her. We have not asked why she feels compelled to stay.
Apollo wins if we don't go deeper into how a person who seems set upon following a disastrous course of action is making sense of this, and will be able to find alternative and better ways to navigate the dangers and cruelty of life.
Certainly, negotiation with a bully isn't an option. Hoping that our clients will 'heal' isn't an option. And the usual task of creating a relationship in which the client feel's heard, is just a beginning.
Creating a dialogue in which a client feels hope, connection with the world, compassion for themselves, and starts to find new ways to find better, requires the therapist to let go of everything we are taught, and to start building a more resilient and empowered reality, from the client's beliefs and value system.
There are no easy solutions, but ways to help a person to engage their seeking system (Panksep) and to trust in their own courage and strength, will create changes.
I write this here because how Kit responded to me was informed by his theoretical underpinnings, and warped especially by his fear of losing his status - because of the theoretical underpinnings of his professional ethical body...
It seems to me that the fundamental assumptions underpinning therapy require analysis!
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