I would never have believed how difficult it is to write a request to see my therapy notes, if I hadn't tried.
And failed.
I just can't find the words.
It should be done - it makes sense for me to do this.
What gets in the way of just asking, is the second guessing, and the rich cocktail of emotions I'm almost knocked out by; a mixture of sadness, anger and futility. OK, I know it, I know what I'm doing, I'm second guessing how he will feel to read the request, and I don't want to be the catalyst that opens up those feelings. And sure, I'm second guessing that his reply - if he replies - will be to ask me why?
I do not wish to answer that question.
Not because I have any need for secrecy, or feel that he shouldn't know why. But simply because it is over stepping the mark. He isn't my therapist, I'm not asking for therapy. I just want to get a 360 degree crash report.
So, if this were me, and a client asked me for my notes about them - I have no problem with offering the truth. My answer is, 'the sheet of A 4 I wrote things down on during the session has been destroyed. I will copy and paste the notes I keep for my records to you, and I hope that you get in touch with me if there is anything in there that doesn't make sense or I've got wrong. If there is I am happy to change it'.
I'm not going to suggest that we sit down together and go through the notes. But I might ask if they would like to do that.
My inspiration for how to practice is a supervisor who wrote something I felt could be detrimental when I was in placement. I requested that she changed her wording, and she simply apologized and changed the wording.
No drama - gold standard!
5th February 2024.
Dear Kit,
This email isn't a formal request.
This is a notification, to let you know that I'm thinking of requesting my session notes from you.
I will let you know my decision at the end of February.
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