A strange confluence of leads and prompts; just watched a relatively horrible film that included music from the singer who inspired him. That hurt. Made me think of my purry furry fake leopard skin coat. Yes indeed, I want to cry...The film though?
It made no sense at all!
But it did a good job of transmitting the fear of the 'satanic'. Which is a distinctly unique type of fear. It has a particular flavour somehow. I remember my son's experience of it. Part of me is chasing down theories and ideas, wondering about endogenously produced DMT, Transformative experiences so often involve the weird, and DMT is the key that opens the door to hyper significance.
After the film I followed the link I'd spotted when I'd checked out his 'professional body' membership before launching my complaint. It took me to the university where he studied for his MSc. For a moment I was tempted, as I'm 'qualified' enough to take the course, and it is a lot cheaper than some! But to be honest, I'm still not sure how much I rate the theoretical side - as will become all too clear by what I'm about to write.
- The central aim of the course is to establish a therapeutic relationship which will lead to a corrective emotional relationship, and this involves:
- Understanding the internal and external barriers that people create to the formation of successful relationships;
- Understanding how these barriers relate to the problems the person experiences;
- Engaging the person in a therapeutic relationship which provides the opportunity and therapeutic support for engaging with these relationship problems.
So I guess that tells us everything we need to know! If therapy is only a corrective emotional relationship, then the only cause of suffering must be that clients are persons who can't form good enough relationships.
Simple!
No wonder he was confused when I spoke about Gestalt therapy, and the importance of contact with the totality of the experience as the pathway to recasting and understanding, and moving on! It explains why when I spoke about therapy as time-shifting, via memory, and language, or about post traumatic growth, it must have just gone over his head?
So if a therapist thinks that therapy is a reparative relationship, no more, no less. And if a therapist doesn't have an understanding of the theories underpinning the significance of contact, or of words, their role in creating thought, or possessing the knowledge of how to use language to evoke positive and safe experiences?
Well, it is little wonder then, when a client doesn't get his logic, could it really be true that he would ask them
to look at his painting! Actually who knows what he thought, but I could not for the life of me agree in the degree of significance he placed on a person's ability to understand what was happening in a picture on his wall. To understand something we need to have had some kind of relevant experience with a version of the subject matter in the image. And it wasn't a scene of the inside of a supermarket, or a forest, or a beach - I guess most people have been to those places!
His picture wasn't a contemporary scene, and we don't have religious processions anymore, or travelling theatres, meanwhile he thinks of EMDR as 'magical thinking!
But the details about the bagpipes really made me laugh!
And vases, lots of vases...
Whatever,
I've seen clients now for four years. I never have and never will seek out, look for or ask about the 'internal and external barriers that 'they' create to prevent successful relationships'. I can't imagine what baleful star, or malign influence would be powerful enough to make me do this!
Blame his MSc!
So let's imagine Ms X; this woman in her late 50's had been happily married long enough to have had a Silver wedding anniversary. But, for four years previous to therapy, her son had suffered drugs psychosis, and her husband had been having 'an affair' with a colleague.
Rewind...
Those words do not for a second describe what I experienced!
{+}
Gaslighting, and terror, certainly.
And self blame?
Well yes, absolutely!
Of course I felt responsible..
So what does a dialogue about how I'd created less than successful relationships feel like? It wasn't safe, it wasn't empowering. The image I had of myself at the time was - I'd been put outside in black plastic with the rest of the rubbish...
And though his demeanour was kindly, his tone of voice reassuring, the content was barbed. I felt completely missed out, erased. My reasons, my loyalty, my capacity to fight for what matters, were dismissed and recast as ignorance, as resistance and denial. And I'm wondering at what point does 'creating barriers' go fully into 'you are responsible'?
Keep in mind, self blame is already a form of self-harm...
Hmm, just thinking about it, I need a heavy dose of French coldgaze...
